My ex was and is a "charmer". He comes across all innocent, and victim-like, singing, "poor me". Everybody believed him, and felt bad for him. It sickens me.
He was, and still is, a lousy father....at least in my opinion. And as I continue to write, you will see why I wrote that, and why I think he is a lousy father.
March of 2009....I was still be investigated...court was still going on, and my ex and I were alternating weeks with my son.
Since I couldn't afford to pay the mortgage for my house, it was going in to foreclosure. My ex, who had been living there and not paying for the house, had no choice but to move. I would ask him to please give me access to the house so I could pick up some of my belongings, yet he refused. He was so mean.
I believe that it was May of 2009, that my ex moved in to the apartment complex that I was living in. You heard me right....I moved there in December of 2008, and I had been living there, and then he moves in to the same apartment complex where I lived first, 5 months later. This is the same "man" that called the cops on me, and made me out to be a monster. If he was so "scared" of me, why did he move in to the same apartment complex as me? I know if I was scared of somebody, I would stay as far away from them as possible.
Once he moved, he FINALLY let me in the house. I had two people with me. The place was trashed. And that is an understatement. There were baby bottles with green mold in it....GREEN MOLD. I took pictures of everything. I had two witnesses with me. They were disgusted by the mess as well. I called Social Services and told them about the environment that he had my son in...and about the bottles. Their response? "Well, at least he's not using the bottles". I swear, I never saw anything like it. He really had them wrapped around his finger. To them, he was a saint who did no wrong, and I was some horrible monster.
I took my things out of the house, and left his stuff there. It was hard for me to see the house that I had custom built, destroyed like it was.
Months would continue with my ex and I alternating weeks, and Social Services investigating me, and going back and forth to court.
My ex had put my son in daycare. It was a horrible one. My son was the youngest child there, and he was constantly coming home all bit up; and with bruises; and once with his finger nail hanging off. And my son wasn't instigating anything. He was being beaten up by the older children, and the teacher sat back and did nothing.
I would tell my ex to go to the daycare and check on him (he worked at a movie theatre very close to the daycare), but he would always say that he couldn't because he was working. Well, I was working too...and much further away from that daycare, then my ex was. I put my job in jeopardy. My son comes first. Period. If I lost my job, I lost my job. My son needed me. Even though he couldn't tell me what was happening at that daycare, I could tell.
So, I was the one who always left my job and went to that daycare. I reported the daycare to their corporate headquarters. I also called Social Services. Social Services didn't do a thing. One of the big directors met with me and I showed her the pile of incident reports which showed how much my son was getting hurt.
Long story short, the teacher got suspended. I was the one who handled the problem at the daycare. I was the one who would "pop in" at the daycare and sit in the class watching for hours. My ex did nothing.
My ex would make appointments for my son to see the pediatrician, and my ex would not take my son to the appointments he scheduled, nor would he call and cancel or reschedule the appointments. The pediatrician's office told me one day while I was there with my son, that there were 2 "no shows" and if it happened again, they would no longer see my son. I had no idea what they were talking about. I asked my ex about it. His response when I told him what the pediatrician's office said to me? "I forgot".
Once when I took my son to the pediatrician's office, my ex asked me to ask them, how much fish my one year old was allowed to have. First of all, children that young can not have alot of fish. The pediatrician even told me this. I wasn't feeding my son fish, my ex was. She told me the tiny amount that he was allowed to have per month. It was a very small amount. After I told my ex the amount that she told me, he actually asked me, "is that raw or cooked"? I was in shock! Raw fish? Was he serious? I told him, None! A child that is only one yeara old can not eat sushi. My ex said that my son was "taking it from him"...Sure, my one year old was taking food away from my 6'3" ex.
Those are just some examples of how bad of a father he was and still is. When it was his week, he would call me for diapers, because he had none. He would also call me for wipes for the same reason. I always gave them to my ex...not to help my ex out, but because I worried about my son. My son would cry and want to stay with me when he saw me...he didn't want to be with my ex. It broke my heart. He would cry and cry, and hold his arms out for me, yet since it wasn't my week, there was nothing I could do. I would cry and cry. I worried so much about my son, and I wanted him to be home with me. I mean, my son was with his Daddy...why did he not want to go to him? What was going on that I didn't know about?
My ex started proving that he was a poor father, yet I was the one being investigated. There was one day that my ex picked up my son from me, and he had him for just over 24 hours. The next day when I picked up my son, he had such a severe diaper rash, that it looked like third degree burns. My precious baby boy was screaming in pain. It was on his bottom, on his front, on his back, and on his legs. He didn't leave my home that way. What went on in that 24 hour period? I brought my son to the pediatrician. The nurse took one look at my son and ran and got the pediatrician, and she asked him if it was due to child abuse (and she asked that all on her own). The pediatrician said "no". I nursed my baby boy back to health, and I got him all better.
One day it was my ex's turn to have my son for the week. My ex took my son and put him in his SUV with blaring music filled with obscenities. My apartment faced the back, so I was unaware of this. It was two of my neighbors that told me. The music was so loud, that it was blaring in their apartment. I was horrified to find this out.
Regarding that sexual harassment case. I had a restraining order from that old pervert. The state wanted to prosecute him, and they filed their own lawsuit. The pervert got a public defender. He admitted to the public defender, everything that he did to me. And he admitted that he wanted to have sex with me. His public defender told the prosecutor, for which, the prosecutor told me. I was surprised that he admitted everything, but I was glad that he did, because I figured that the prosecutor could convict him, and that it would hopefully be an open and shut case.
But the prosecutor told me that he couldn't do anything about it...even though that pervert admitted everything. Why? Because it was attorney to attorney confidentiality. The prosecutor couldn't reveal anything that was said to him in court. And the prosecutor told me that the pervert would more than likely take "the 5th", and not testify at all, making it hard to prove the case. That case manager lost his job. That was it. He got off scott-free in my opinion.
My biological father was verbally abusive to me on the phone. He would have me hysterical. He would scream at me and say the meanest things. He accused me of lying when I told him of how I was sexually harassed. Sure, he helped me out a little bit financially (trust me, it didn't hurt him)...but that didn't give him the right to treat me like he did.
This post is now leading in to August of 2009.
