May 10th, 2011 changed my life for the better. My next big change came on July 29th, 2011. That was the first day that I was officially off of probation. Officially off, after 3 long years of being on it. No more checking in monthly with my probation officer, no more being scared that anything I do may put me back in to that horrible, horrible place....
I knew that 2011 would bring great things for me. I knew it would be "my year"....the year my divorce would finally be over, as well as my probation finally being over.
People seem to think though, that because my probation is now over, that so is my record. Oh how I wish that were the case, but it is not. For you see, my probation is over, but my record is with me for life.
I'll never forget how my public defender told me that the two misdemeanors would not affect me. Boy, was he wrong. It has had a huge impact on me. I am unable to find a good job because Human Resouces puts an end to it before I even have the chance to start despite my qualifications, and I am unable to move. Fortunately, I love the state that I live in, but I am unable to rent from any other apartment because of my misdemeanors. I get treated poorly. They think the worst. I get judged, and I hate it.
I have one more huge hurdle....to secure a permanent, full-time position at a company that will hire me despite my record. Easier said, than done....
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Friday, August 5, 2011
FINALLY legally divorced!
It's been over 3 months since I have last posted, and I have had several changes since my last post on April 21st. I am happy to say that as of May 10, 2011, I am LEGALLY divorced! My ex-husband didn't even call in to the court final hearing by phone. He was a complete no-show. This worried me when he didn't call, as I was afraid the Magistrate would issue a continuance, but she did not, and she pushed the divorce through!
I swear, it felt like I'd never be divorced from him, no matter how hard I tried. Our marriage lasted for 2 years and 8 months before I filed for a divorce from him. It took 2 filings, and 2 years and 8 months (the same amount of time our marriage lasted) for me to divorce him. Not because he didn't want to get a divorce; but because of how non-compliant he was. I did everything the State required to get a divorce, and he did nothing. It was horrible, and it held things up.
But low and behold, on May 10th, the Magistrate made it FINAL! I cried....tears of happiness, not sadness. So here is what is in the permanent, legal court documents:
sole, legal, residential custodian/guardian - ME
sole, legal, decision maker - ME
As for my ex? This is what he received:
2 weeks per year of visitation time with my son (in the state my ex lives in)...this is broken in to two, 7 day segments....each segment includes travel time.
4 days every even year for Christmas (in the state my ex lives in), which includes travel time
4 days every odd year for Thanksgiving (in the state my ex lives in), which includes travel time
2 days every year, the weekend before my son's birthday, to be taken in the state my son lives in (Saturday morning to Sunday night)
2 days every year, the weekend of Father's Day, to be taken in the state my son lives in (Saturday morning to Sunday night)
2 days every year, the weekend before my ex-husband's birthday, to be taken in the state my son lives in (Saturday morning to Sunday night)
The total amount of days my ex-husband has visitation time with my son every year is 24 days, 18 nights...this is broken up over 6 segments. The longest amount of time my ex-husband can have visitation with my son is 7 days, and that includes travel time. My ex-husband is not allowed to combine Holiday time with visitation time. Seven days max, alone with my son. and that is in the permanent court orders.
My ex-husband is to provide me with 30 days advance notice, and an address where my son will be staying, along with a phone number, and flight itineraries.
24 days total per year, and my ex continues to forfeit visitation time with my son. It's sad. I'm sure the time will come where my ex-husband will use some of his visitation time, but as of right now, he is still forfeiting what little bit of time he has. Sad, very sad.
As for child support? Although he was court ordered to pay it, he did not, and I had to go to the Child Support Enforcement Agency to have his wages garnished.
I am happy to say that the CSE Agency has finally started sending me payments. I think it is sad though, that I have to pay for the CSE Agency to be involved (every year I have to pay them)....in my opinion, my ex-husband should have to pay for their services. I just don't get it. Some "justice" system we have....
I swear, it felt like I'd never be divorced from him, no matter how hard I tried. Our marriage lasted for 2 years and 8 months before I filed for a divorce from him. It took 2 filings, and 2 years and 8 months (the same amount of time our marriage lasted) for me to divorce him. Not because he didn't want to get a divorce; but because of how non-compliant he was. I did everything the State required to get a divorce, and he did nothing. It was horrible, and it held things up.
But low and behold, on May 10th, the Magistrate made it FINAL! I cried....tears of happiness, not sadness. So here is what is in the permanent, legal court documents:
sole, legal, residential custodian/guardian - ME
sole, legal, decision maker - ME
As for my ex? This is what he received:
2 weeks per year of visitation time with my son (in the state my ex lives in)...this is broken in to two, 7 day segments....each segment includes travel time.
4 days every even year for Christmas (in the state my ex lives in), which includes travel time
4 days every odd year for Thanksgiving (in the state my ex lives in), which includes travel time
2 days every year, the weekend before my son's birthday, to be taken in the state my son lives in (Saturday morning to Sunday night)
2 days every year, the weekend of Father's Day, to be taken in the state my son lives in (Saturday morning to Sunday night)
2 days every year, the weekend before my ex-husband's birthday, to be taken in the state my son lives in (Saturday morning to Sunday night)
The total amount of days my ex-husband has visitation time with my son every year is 24 days, 18 nights...this is broken up over 6 segments. The longest amount of time my ex-husband can have visitation with my son is 7 days, and that includes travel time. My ex-husband is not allowed to combine Holiday time with visitation time. Seven days max, alone with my son. and that is in the permanent court orders.
My ex-husband is to provide me with 30 days advance notice, and an address where my son will be staying, along with a phone number, and flight itineraries.
24 days total per year, and my ex continues to forfeit visitation time with my son. It's sad. I'm sure the time will come where my ex-husband will use some of his visitation time, but as of right now, he is still forfeiting what little bit of time he has. Sad, very sad.
As for child support? Although he was court ordered to pay it, he did not, and I had to go to the Child Support Enforcement Agency to have his wages garnished.
I am happy to say that the CSE Agency has finally started sending me payments. I think it is sad though, that I have to pay for the CSE Agency to be involved (every year I have to pay them)....in my opinion, my ex-husband should have to pay for their services. I just don't get it. Some "justice" system we have....
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