August of 2010....my ex's fourth time that he forfeited his visitation time with my son. Later on in that month, I asked my ex why he didn't even have the decency of telling me before-hand whether it be a 2 sentence email; a text; or a phone call, that he was going to forfeit his visitation. His response? It was "too hard" on him.
I have no empathy for him. It takes alot for me to have empathy for anybody due to the life that I have led, and the obstacles that life threw at me, which I overcame.....and it wasn't easy. So when I hear somebody complaining about what to me is, something petty, I have no empathy. No, that doesn't mean that I am mean to them in any way....it just means that on the inside, I don't want to hear it.
Once August passed, that was it. My ex was no longer legally allowed to remove my son from Colorado. He had his chances, but he forfeited them. There were no court dates set. No more visitations scheduled.
September and October passed. Just me and my little boy. And I'm not complaining one bit! I LOVE my son, and I absolutely LOVE being HIS Mommy! :-)
Since 2008, when I lost my Commercial Real Estate job, it's been extremely hard to find a job. Between the recession, and more than that...having a record, companies wouldn't hire me, and believe me, I've tried. I've actually been offered a job and then HR "pulled the plug" so to speak, when they saw that I have a record.
That's how it's been. Most employment agencies won't even work with me. And I've lost lower paying jobs because of how much money I used to make...they considered me a "risk" in that I was worth much more money, and they didn't want to invest time or money in me, because they knew I could make more, and they were afraid that I'd leave.
And the thing is, I'm a hard worker. And I have great exerience. Six years doing Commercial Real Estate, and approximately 8 1/2 years of Accounting experience.
So I would work at little jobs on and off that I would find, and I even worked on a temporary assignment. But what I really needed, was a full-time, permanent job, and finally in November, I got a full-time job. I don't even make half of what I used to make, but at least it's something. I take my son to school during the day while I'm at work.
Previously, my ex and I worked out that he would have every even Christmas with my son, and that I would have every odd year. Well, December of 2010 was an even year. My son was not allowed to cross Colorado state lines, so I offered my ex to spend Christmas with my son here in Colorado. My ex said he had no money; no place to stay; no way to get around; and so on, and so forth. I actually offered my ex to stay at my home (sleeping on the couch) so this way he wouldn't have to pay for a place to stay, and I offered to help drive him a bit. All he needed to do would be to buy the plane ticket.
This way, he would be able to see my son from the moment my son woke up on Christmas morning. Considering how very mean my ex has been to me, I think that was pretty nice of me to offer. He would get to see my son, and I was happy that even though it was an even year, I'd still get to see my son as well.
Do I even need to say what happened at this point? If you've been following my blog, I'm sure you'll know what happened. He forfeited his vistation. This made my ex's FIFTH visitation that he forfeited with my son. Let me repeat that....he forfeited his FIFTH visitation. Some "parent".
At least I can say that I tried, and that I was nice, and that I gave him the opportunity to see his son. I didn't have to offer him that. I have no guilt. I mean, to offer my ex to stay at my home for Christmas took alot out of me.
Christmas was wonderful! It was my son and I, and it was the BEST Christmas that I ever had....as each Christmas with him is.
As for me ex....that was it. He voluntarily moved, he forfeited 5 visitations, he'd see my son over the webcam using skype, and then "disappear" for long periods of times, and he'd barely ever ask about my son...only when it was convenient for him.
And child support? Well, my ex seems to think that he is above the law. He was court ordered to pay child support in court on May 4, 2010. He paid for May, but NOTHING for June, July, August, September, or October. He paid a small $80.00 for November, and then nothing for December, January, and for February (of this year), he paid me $89.00. So out of 9 straight months...he paid me no child support for 7 of them, and a whopping $169 combined total for 2 months.
There is nothing that I can do to get my child support because we are still legally married (as much as I have been trying to get my divorce finalized). Once my divorce is finalized, the Child Support Enforcement Agency will go after my ex and garnish his wages, but until then, there's nothing that I can do, except to wait for my divorce to be finalized.
