May 4th, 2010....one of the court dates for my divorce. The last time that I have been to court. I appeared in person, and my ex was over the phone. We were in front of a Magistrate.
We swore to tell the truth. I told the truth. He lied.
Lie after lie after lie. And I just had to sit there and listen to his lies.
For example, he indicated that he threw my son a birthday party when he visited him. The way he made it sound, you would think that he spent alot of money for a big party. My son did have a birthday party, but it was just the 3 of us, and in my home. My ex bought 6 cupcakes, and some decorations from the dollar store. He bought him a few gifts. But the way he made it sound, you would think he spent hundreds of dollars.
He told the Magistrate that he did come to Colorado with money. But the fact of the matter is, he didn't. I had the bill from the medication that I purchased for my son, for which he didn't even give me a dime. A good father would have helped pay. When I told my ex that I needed him to help pay, my ex told me that he "had no money". He denied all of that, and the Magistrate did not want to see the bill that I had with me.
He just kept lying, and doing the "poor me" thing. It sickens me. His lies were so bad, that the Magistrate even turned around at one point and said, "Well obviously, one of you is lying". I was sitting there thinking, "Yes, HE is lying". But my ex is so good and lying and manipulating, that the Magistrate didn't know who to believe.
Then my ex started complaining that he missed his son. The Magistrate did confront him as to why he moved so far away from his son. I don't remember my ex's exact answer. I think it was something along the lines of, that he needed his family's support.
In my opinion, when a person has a child, that child should come FIRST in their life. I'm not saying that other family members aren't important, but to me, a great parent will always put their child first....Period. That's what I do. He doesn't.
After he told his sob story about why he moved, the Magistrate confronted him about why he forfeited his visitation time with my son for Thanksgiving 2009. My ex indicated that he had no money. My ex always has an excuse for everything. Always. In my opinon....a great parent would find a way to see their child...even if it meant working multiple jobs.
My ex forfeited his second visitation with my son in January of 2010. The visitation would have been in Colorado, as my son is not allowed to be taken out of the state of Colorado, without the court's permission. But I gave my ex permission to visit my son in January of 2010, here in Colorado. My ex forfeited that visitation as well. That's 2 forfeits.....with more to come.
My ex begged and pleaded on the phone, and was saying things like, "But Your Honor, I'm his father"; "All I want to do is see my son"; "Can't I see my son"?
The Magistrate looked at me like I was keeping my son away from my ex. But that was not the case. My ex himself, was the reason that he wasn't seeing my son.
I forgot how much time my ex asked for. I think he asked to see my son for 2 weeks in June. The Magistrate only granted one week in June. Then my ex went on to say that he wanted to see my son for 1 week in August. The ex granted that as well.
So that was 2 visitations that he was granted...one in June of 2010, and one in August of 2010.
Then the Magistrate ordered him to pay child support. A rather low amount. She orderd him to pay me on the 20th of every month, for that month i.e. May's child support would have been due on May 20th.
I left court upset. His lies...his manipulation....he always seems to get away with it. I've never seen anything like it before.
So, my ex paid me my child support for May. June was coming up, which meant that my son who only just turned 2 years old in February, would be going to Florida with my ex. I was scared and worried about my son. And at 2 years old, I could not explain to my son that he was going to visit his Daddy for one week, and then he would be coming home to his Mommy.
On top of it, my son was calling different men that he would see (who looked nothing like my ex), "Daddy". He would do it in the parking lot, at the grocery store, etc. I asked my ex if he would get on the webcam to see my son, so that he would know who his Daddy is. I explained to my ex what my son was doing...well, I tried to explain, but my ex didn't want to hear it. In fact, he kept saying that my son knew who his Daddy was. He was not willing to see my son over the webcam. Some father.
Since my son was calling different men that he would see while we were out, "Daddy", and my ex didn't want to help, I decided to take my son to a child therapist. I wanted to make his trip as smooth as possible for him. I mean, he was going to be taken away from his Mommy, and then be with my ex who he had only seen one time in 8 months, and be surrounded by ex's family, who are strangers to my son. And then there was the plane ride. I didn't want him to be scared. My ex previously took my son for a short trip to Florida, and he gave him Benadryll so he would sleep the whole time...forget giving him a a bottle to help his ears....no, he gave him medicine to put him asleep.
I just wanted to find some ideas of how to explain to my son, on his level, what was going on, to help make his trip go smooth. I wanted my son's trip to go smooth, hence my taking my son to a child's therapist. I mean, if my ex wouldn't cooperate at all, and he wouldn't even see my son over the webcam, it was up to me, to help my son. I had nothing but the best intentions.
As a result of trying to help my son, I was once again under investigation by Social Services. If you have been following my blog from the beginning, you will know that this made the THIRD time that Social Services investiaged me.
Just when I thought that Social Services was gone from my life for good....they were back.
