My attorney received 2 court dates for me. A temporary one in April, which means, if the Judge has time to hear my case, they would, and if not, then more waiting. I also received a permanent court date in July.
I did not want to go to court though. Eventhough I have an attorney, and my ex does not, I know the games that he plays in court, and the manipulation, and the lies. He does the "poor me" thing...and "but your Honor, I'm his father"...and blah, blah, blah.
Forget the fact that he voluntarily quit his job and moved 2 time zones away only to have no job; and the fact that he forfeited FIVE visitations with my son; and that he has only seen my son one time in over a year and a half; and that he barely asks about my son; and how he would see my son over the webcam and then "disappear"; not to mention, he doesn't pay court ordered child support.
Despite all of the above, I've been to court enough times to know what my ex would do, and I wanted to prevent that. In addition, I wanted to expedite this feels like, never-ending divorce.
Amazingly enough, my ex actually agreed to settle with me. By him agreeing to settle, that will definitely expedite things.
Here are some terms of the Settlement Agreement:
Legal, Sole Residential Guardian - Me
Legal, Sole Decision Making - Me
Visitation Time:
My ex will get 2 weeks per year, broken down in to 2, seven day segments (each seven days including traveling time)
Holiday Time:
My ex will get 4 days for Christmas every even year (counting traveling time)
My ex will get 4 days for Thanksgiving every odd year (counting traveling time)
All of the above time, my ex is allowed to take my son out of Colorado.
Holiday Time in Colorado only:
My ex will get the Saturday and Sunday prior to my son's birthday every year
My ex will get the Saturday and Sunday of Father's day every year
My ex will get the Saturday and Sunday prior to my ex's birthday every year
*The above means that my ex would pick up my son Saturday morning, and drop him off to me on Sunday night. My ex is not allowed to cross Colorado state lines with my son*
The grand total of time that my ex is allowed to have with my son per year is 24 days, and 18 nights (broken down in to 6 segments, all including traveling time). My ex is not allowed to combine holiday time with visitation time.
Sound harsh? Well, I have documented proof that proves that when my son has been with my ex, that my ex has not taken good care of my son. I am doing what I feel is in my son's best interest. This is not about my ex and I. This is about my son, and his well-being, which is my #1 top priority.
I do not talk bad about my ex in front of my son, as I believe as my son grows older, he will make his own decisions, and I will not put any pre-conceived notions inside his head. My son is smart, and I believe that he'll remember and know who has always been there for him, and who has not.
Should my ex step up to the plate and be a responsible father, and my son comes to me when he is older, and he tells me on his own, that he wants to see his father more, than I will allow him too. I just want my son to be happy. But my son is only 3, and he is much too young to understand, and he doesn't have a relationship with my ex. I am doing in my heart, what I feel is in my son's best interest.
In March, I paid to have the Child Support Enforcement Agency to get involved, as I really need the child support, and I am struggling financially. I don't know when I'll get child support, because my ex living out of state will hold things up.
It's scary. I'm not going to lie. I make much less than half of what I used to make. My ex doesn't pay child support, and refuses to, and things have never been so tight for me. I've been doing everything I can think of. While working full-time at my current job, I have been looking for a Commercial Real Estate job like I used to have.
I go to food pantries for help with food. I've had to lower my pride, and I cry when I am there because it is so emotional on me, but my son has never gone without, and I make sure that he will never have to go without.
I'm selling what personal belonging that I have left, and I have been going to Churches for help.
I keep a very Strong Faith in God, as I know that He has been taking care of my son and I all along, and that He will continue to do so. I know that God has a plan for me, and I pray that He shows me His plan soon, and I will follow, and I hold on to Matthew 6:25-6:34.
I have my Final Court Hearing on May 10th. It's finally almost over! My attorney told me that the Judge would sign the paperwork right there on the bench. Thanks be to God! My nightmare is almost over!
May will make 2 years and 8 months since I originally filed for a divorce. 2 years and 8 months of waiting. That is the same amount of time that my marriage lasted. It is my opinion that if the waiting period to get married was switched with the amount of time that a divorce takes, that there would be alot less divorces in this world!
