I guess I need to back up a little bit. There's so much to write about what happened, that it is easy to miss something every once and a while. And of course, I'm not putting every little detail in, as I would be writing for a very long time if I was.
The State of Colorado put down an order where my ex and I could not see eachother or talk to eachother. They also put a ban on me seeing my son, eventhough I did not hurt my son, and my son was unaware of what even happened as he was safely strapped in his swing downstairs, and we were upstairs. But because my son was in the home, and I went to jail for domestic violence, they banned me from seeing my precious baby.
The only time my ex spoke in court, was to say that he wanted the ban partially lifted so that we could talk on the phone about the finances. The court let us talk on the phone.
It was Thursday night...the night before I got bailed out of jail. My ex had spent the remainder of the money that we had in our accounts while I was in jail (not much of a surprise there). One of the things my ex bought, was a hitch for the SUV that I paid cash for, so he could hitch a trailer on to it, and move back to Florida to live with his parent...taking my son with him. This horrified me, and that is an understatement.
I have never hurt my baby boy, nor would I ever. Yes, what I did to my ex was
WRONG, but I have NEVER hurt my baby boy. My son is my whole world...my
everything. HE is the BEST BLESSING that God has ever given me! He is my whole reason for living, and that will never change.
Considering I could not be around my ex, something had to be done.
As I stated, my ex was all prepared to take my son to Florida. I told him no. I told him to
stay in the house with our son, and that I would leave. Keep in mind....I had
no place to go. I have no family in Colorado. Sure, I could have went back to
my house had my ex left, but my thoughts? I'd rather be homeless and at least
get to see my baby boy when they would let me see him, then to have my ex take him to Florida where I wouldn't get to see him at all.
As I said, I would and still will do anything for my son, and that will never change, and if that meant being homeless so that I could see him, then so be it. That's how much I love my son.
I asked the police officer for a list of shelters. I planned on staying at a
shelter. This way, I'd at least get to see my precious baby boy (under the
supervision of Social Services who once again was about to enter my life for the second time now).
My thoughts...I'd rather see my little boy once or twice a week (which is all
they allowed) vs. not seeing him at all. And so I looked at the list of
shelters. Then it occurred to me....a young mother who I mentored at my job, and whom I took "under my wing" so to speak in an effort to help her....MIGHT let me stay with her in her apartment. It was worth a shot. I didn't have anybody else to call. She said "yes" instantly. I was soooo glad. I was prepared to go to a shelter and I would have for the love of my son, but I was glad that I didn't have to.
I was released on Friday morning. I had the whole day to wait until my friend arrived home from work. While waiting, I called my job. I got my manager's voice mail. I left her a detailed voice mail explaining that I had a family emergency and that I was sorry that I didn't call, but that I would be at work on Monday. I received a call back from Human Resources informing me that I was fired for "job abandonment". I was crying and begging for my job. My ex had called in for me during the week and informed them that I had an emergency, but since I personally didn't call in for 2 consecutive days, they considered it job abandonment. I completely broke down crying, and informed the person from Human Resources that the reason that I didn't call wasn't because I didn't want to...it was because I was in jail, and I couldn't. It didn't make a difference. I cried and cried and cried.
I waited the whole day driving around until my friend got home from work. My ex-husband's step-father who flew in from Florida to "help my ex get through this difficult time that he was going through" met me at the jail parking lot, and he gave me 2 suitcases filled with some of my clothes and belongings. I also believe that he flew in so that he could take the SUV with my ex back to Florida with my son. Fortunately, I was able to convince my ex not to take my son to Florida.
I was released with a bulky ankle monitor on my leg. No, I wasn't on house arrest. It was to make sure that I didn't come within so many feet of my house. The cops showed me a map, and if I crossed it, they would have come and arrested me. They certainly didn't know me, nor the kind of person that I am. I didn't need an ankle monitor. All the cops would have needed to stay is, "stay away from your house", and I wouldn't have gone near it. There's no way that I would break the law and risk going back to that horrible, horrible place. But nevertheless, an ankle monitor was placed on me on June 20, 2008.
Every night I had to charge it. I was so scared that if it didn't charge properly (due to
no fault of my own), that I would get in trouble. Every night, I would plug the
charger in to my ankle monitor, and I would barely move my leg out of fear of it not charging properly, and getting in trouble.
My life was spiraling downward, and very fast. I was taken away from my son; I was arrested; I lost my job; and eventhough I owned a home (which was solely in my own name), I was unable to enter it, and therefore I was homeless.
From there, things would continue to get worse.
