Getting back to the settlement....Usually in a divorce, the marital debts are split 50/50. I was so fed up and just wanted this divorce over, that I agreed to take on all of the marital debts except for the outstanding balance of the Suzuki Grand Vitara which was reposessed.
In regards to child support, by law I am allowed to receive 12% interest compounded monthly on all outstanding child support. But I didn't go after that. It's not that I don't need the money, and I am still going after my ex for all of the child support that is in arrears...it's just that I'm over it.
The main thing that I wanted was and still is, what I honestly feel is for my son's best interest, and that is for me to remain his legal, sole residential guardian (which I already am, and that would not have changed); and for me to be my son's sole decision maker, which only makes sense, especially with me being his sole residential guardian.
I also wanted my ex to have low visitation time. That may sound harsh, but my ex has proven himself to be an irresponsible father when my son was with him. Also, my ex has only seen my son once in over a year and a half. My son's 3rd birthday came and went, and my ex didn't even send my son a birthday gift. If my ex was a good and responsible father, then I would have agreed to more visitation time; but he is not, and he has proven that over and over.
Even with having low visitation time, I can almost guarantee you that my ex will be forfeiting what visitation time he does have.
My ex has not changed whatsoever. I do not talk to him unless it's about my son. The last time I spoke to him, I was telling him about our son, and my ex changed the subject to whether or not I am changing my last name back to my maiden name. I should have ended the conversation or told him, that, that was not his concern, but instead, I didn't. I told him that I was keeping my last name, for which my ex went off, and got upset and went off on a "tizzy". He went on and on and on about it, and he was basically telling (or trying to tell me) what he wanted me to do, which was to change my last name back to my maiden name.
I called back my ex and left him a voice mail, and I indicated on there that going forward, to please not ask me about my personal life, as I don't ask him about his, and our conversations should be about our son, and that's it. I informed him on his voice mail that if he changes the subject off of our son, and on to my personal life, that I was going to kindly excuse myself from the conversations, and say goodbye, and then end the call.
I will not change my mind though. This is something that I thought long and hard over. Most people were giving me their "2 cents", and were telling me to change my last name back to my maiden name, and how that would send my ex a message. First of all, I was the one who filed for the divorce...isn't that enought of a message? Besides, my decision had NOTHING to do with my ex. When I couldn't decide what to do, I prayed about it. I asked God to help me come up with an answer. Approximately 1 or 2 days later, I felt the answer inside of me. It was very intense. It was in my heart. I knew what the right thing for me to do was, and that was to keep my last name...all for the love of my son. As my son grows older, he will know his last name. It is extremely important to me that my son has his Mommy's last name, and that I have his last name. It is my decision, and that is what I decided to do.
But that's the way my ex is. He is irrational, and there is no rationalizing with somebody who is irrational.
Three weeks...three weeks from today, and my divorce SHOULD finally be finalized.....May 10th to be exact. I can't wait until it is finalized! On top of it, my probation will be over at the end of July. July 28th is my last day of probation, and July 29th, I am finally off of being on probation, after having been on it for three years.
Now my major obstacle is to find a job, which is more challenging than it may sound, because despite my experience, my record is preventing me from getting a job. I won't give up though, and I never will....all for the love of my son, as he needs me, and I need him.
